


Broken Arrow

by Mansaeboysbe



Category: K-pop, SF9 (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, death mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-24 09:20:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16172192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mansaeboysbe/pseuds/Mansaeboysbe
Summary: “Um, I’m sorry to bother you,” a shy voice called, breaking any semblance of concentration she had held before. She bit her tongue but acknowledged the boy who was shifting from foot to foot awkwardly. “Are you waiting on anyone? If not could I sit here? I promise not to be a bother.”





	Broken Arrow

**Author's Note:**

> -Admin Mari

The blank page in front of her was mocking. She tapped her pen against the table with no apparent pattern and stared down at the paper as if willing it to give her ideas. After a moment more she sighed and leaned back in her seat, messing with the sleeves of her shirt to distract her from the frustration that was almost suffocating.

(Y/n) looked around at the coffee shop that was thriving despite the early hours of the morning. As far as she could tell, every table was taken and the line was almost out the door. It was noisy, the sound of scuffling feet and machines whirring filled the entire space. She reached over and took a sip of the drink in front of her and tried to focus again. An inkling of an idea began to creep into her mind and that was all she needed as she moved to start writing.

“Um, I’m sorry to bother you,” a shy voice called, breaking any semblance of concentration she had held before. She bit her tongue but acknowledged the boy who was shifting from foot to foot awkwardly. “Are you waiting for anyone? If not could I sit here? I promise not to be a bother.”

The girl shook her head, motioning for him to sit. The boy thanked her and removed his backpack, pulling out a laptop and placing it carefully on the table. He left for a moment to grab his drink and, when he returned, booted his computer up.

(Y/n) watched him from the corner of her eye as she tried again to fill the blank page. He had bleached blond hair and his broad shoulders were hunched over as he typed. His face was obscured by the screen but she would be willing to put money on the idea that he was sticking his tongue out.

Averting her gaze quickly, she tried to shake the thoughts of the boy from her head, turning her attention back to the pages in front of her. From time to time she would write a word down but no intact sentence ever came to mind. After twenty minutes she threw her pen down and laid her head on the table with a bang, ready to cry.

“Are you okay?” the boy asked. His head was peeking out over the top of his computer as if he was afraid to interrupt her meltdown.

“Shit, yeah, yeah,” she said, quickly rubbing at her eyes, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he replied, “Is it just one of those days?”

She sighed. “I guess, but those days seem to be every day as of late.”

He nodded knowingly but still turned away timidly. His eyes darted around the shop for a moment before landing on her again.

“Would it help to talk about it?”

She shook her head.

“I just want to write it, but I can’t.” She bit her lip trying to force back tears. “It’s just so frustrating because I know what I want to say but I can’t get it out.”

“Do you have a deadline to meet or something?”

“Kind of,” she murmured, pulling her drink closer and taking a sip, feeling a little better after letting the warm liquid slip down her throat. He hummed and returned to his laptop for a second.

“Here.” He turned it toward her and she pulled it a little closer, putting it on top of the paper, to see it better. The boy had searched ‘ways to overcome writer’s block’ and she laughed and thanked him.

She sat for a few moments and scrolled through the tips before handing the device back.

“I’m Youngkyun by the way.”

“I’m (Y/n). It’s nice to meet you.” She offered her hand out to him and he shook it, a small smile tugging at his lips.

They went back to their separate activities for a while, occasionally stealing glances at each other as the clock ticked away. As the morning rush thinned out, after only writing a paragraph, (Y/n) noticed the time and began packing up her things to leave. She noticed his hesitance as she got up, but he swallowed whatever nerves were plaguing him and then asked if she would like to meet up again “in case she had more writer’s block.” She had chuckled and promised to come back at the agreed time the following week. He sent her a bright smile as she walked out and as she passed the windows, she could see how he had returned to the screen with the smile still adorned on his lips.

“What are you working so diligently on?” she started with the next time they met up, standing in front of him and waiting for him to respond. He had a pen between his teeth as he typed furiously, only one headphone in. The journal next to him was slightly askew and the notes it contained looked like complete chaos. His coffee looked like it hadn’t been touched since he bought it and he didn’t even acknowledge her presence.

She raised an eyebrow and sat anyway as she waited for him to respond. He did. About a half hour later.

Youngkyun leaned back in his seat, setting his pen down beside his computer, popping some of his fingers to relieve the tension as he looked over what he had just written. (Y/n) had pulled out her paper again and had been attempting to write while she waited. When she had heard his fingers slow she had looked up at him over the top of the laptop and finally, he noticed her.

He almost fell out of his seat in shock and let out a high pitched squeak. She covered her mouth as she giggled and asked if he was alright. He simply nodded and tried to regain his composure.

“How long have you been there?”

“A while.” A frown settled on his lips.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“It’s okay. Whatever you’re working on is obviously important.”

“Yeah,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “This essay is due tonight. I told myself not to procrastinate but you know,” he trailed off.

She laughed, brushing off his excuses and instead telling him it was fine, that she understood. He put his laptop and journal away and pulled the headphone out of his ear.

“Are you still writing your…story?” he inquired after a moment.

“You could call it that,” (Y/n) said softly, “and yes I am.”

“Can I ask what it’s about?”

“It’s confidential.”

He smiled at that. “Are you a spy?”

She leaned forward, lowering her voice. “Who’s asking?”

They laughed and then (Y/n) pulled out a couple pens from her purse, laying them on the table.

“When I don’t know what to write I sometimes just write all over the paper until an idea comes to mind,” she explained, picking up a purple pen and doodling in the corner of the sheet. “I get bored, though, so if you want to join me, you can.”

Youngkyun reached across the table and picked a blue pen before drawing a small cat in the corner. He continued to expand his drawing outward until it blended effortlessly with hers.

They drew everywhere, on both sides of the pages, occasionally writing sentences here and there, and kept up a conversation as they learned more about each other.

“Is this why you always have blank paper on you?” he asked after they had filled the third sheet.

“This and I like to be able to write with no restrictions.” He raised an eyebrow questioningly at her. “In Victorian times people used to write in every manner of direction. Overlapping words, perpendicularly, writing upside down in between the lines, edge to edge there was ink because paper was expensive and they couldn’t waste it. I believe that even if it’s expected that we stay in the lines, we should go beyond those limitations.”

At the end of an hour, he wrote his number on one of the pages and handed it to her, asking once again if they could meet up.

She responded with an affirmative and took the paper, promising to text him later.

“Can I ask you something?’ He spoke as she sat down with her drink. The table between them was clear this time, no laptop, no paper, just their mugs as they looked at each other across the table.

“You already did.”

He blushed. “Something else.”

She shrugged.

“Can-ugh, this is going to sound so stupid-can you write your name down for me?”

(Y/n) was a bit taken aback. She didn’t say anything for a moment, instead avoided his gaze and she could feel the table shift as he did.

“You don’t have to-”

“It’s just-”

They both stopped.

She sighed and removed a piece of paper from her bag, writing out (Y/n) (Y/l/n) on the paper in precise strokes. She slid it across to him and waited. His breath hitched and he traced the writing for a second before he looked up at her, albeit a little shyly.

“I think we’re soulmates,” he said after a pause.

“I-can we talk about this somewhere else?”

“What?” he asked, a little confused.

“Please, just somewhere not so public,” she told him. Her fingers were gripping the table and her breathing was shallow. She felt like she was going to be sick.

He nodded and helped her gather her things and then led her out the door. They walked side by side in silence back to his home and he quietly unlocked the door, stepping aside to let her enter first.

“What’s wrong?” he asked timidly when they had reached the living room, “Do you need proof? Do you want to see the tattoo?”

“No, please,” her voice was rushed and she felt dizzy as she leaned against the wall for support. He guided her to the couch and sat on the coffee table across from her, brows furrowed in confusion at her reaction.

She took deep breaths and tried to calm herself. Her hands were trembling and although she was avoiding looking at him, she could tell just from the few times that her gaze fell on his face that he was completely puzzled and a little distraught.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have come.” She stood and attempted to walk out but Youngkyun caught her by the wrist gently pleading for her to stay.

“Is it me? I don’t understand. I just-”

“You’re not my soulmate.”

He stopped abruptly. He didn’t move for a moment and his grip loosened.

“But I have your-”

“But I don’t.”

He blinked and she could see tears brimming in his eyes.

“I told you. I shouldn’t have come. I’m really, really sorry, Youngkyun, but I can’t change this.”

He let out a shaky breath as she walked out of his house.

(Y/n) walked numbly back to her apartment complex and before she ascended the stairs she threw up in the bushes on the side. Her whole body was shaking and she felt like crying.

Fate had managed to fuck up her first friendship since moving here a month ago, since moving away from her home.

Despite everything that had happened, he still asked to meet up with her the next week. He never brought up the topics of soulmates and instead insisted on talking about everything else. He bought her drink and overall it just seemed that he was trying to soothe whatever pain he had caused.

He was trying his best and she appreciated that.

Really she was just glad he still wanted to talk to her.

They continued to meet up every week. There were days when he had papers to write so they would work on their own things and then there were days when they would just sit and chat the morning away. They switched the days up as well, meeting more frequently and occasionally going elsewhere to talk.

Their favorite place was still the coffee shop and (Y/n) loved the days where they would talk and draw all over the paper she brought with her.

Two months passed with all their meetups and he had set up another meeting in the shop.

He sat at their table tapping his fingers along the rim of the wood, glancing at the door every once in a while. He pulled out his phone, opening it, and contemplated whether or not to text her. She had never been this late before. One or two minutes sure, but after twenty-five he was worried.

Youngkyun sighed and got up. He took his leave and walked down along the sidewalk, past couples holding hands or just enjoying being together. He felt a longing for even the basic aspects of the soulmate bond and when those thoughts began to consume him, he made a decision to visit (Y/n)’s home to check on her.

Having only been once before, when he had walked her home during a thunderstorm, he was surprised at how well he remembered the route. He kept one hand on the railing as he climbed the stairs and paused for a moment at the top.

It was quiet outside and he wondered whether she would find it weird or not that he had just randomly shown up. However, a part of him knew that if he had asked to come over she would have brushed it off, saying she was fine and there was nothing to worry about.

He walked the last few steps to her door and knocked lightly. When no one responded after a moment, he knocked a little harder.

“(Y/n)?” he called, “It’s me. Are you okay?”

There was only silence and he was about to give up when he heard the sound of the lock being undone.

“Youngkyun? What are you doing here?” The door was only cracked open but he could see the puffiness of her eyes and how they were still red-rimmed.

“You didn’t show up…”

“I’m so sorry. Something came up.”

“Can I come in?” he asked after the silence became unsettling.

“It would be better if you didn’t.”

“(Y/n), please? I can help with whatever’s troubling you.”

They stood there for a moment and finally, she opened the door a little more. She walked away before he was inside and he watched her go as he shut the door behind him. He followed her, looking around at the apartment as he went.

There were no picture frames anywhere as far as he could tell. Everything else looked like there had been a rampage. Everything, aside from a few boxes that were stacked neatly in a corner of the living room.

He looked up as she reentered the room in different clothes. Her hair was brushed and she had put effort into her outfit but he could tell all she really wanted was for him to leave.

“Do you want to go somewhere?” she asked, her voice strained.

He looked at her for a moment as she nervously played with her fingers.

She watched as he looked around as if trying to find an excuse to stay. She knew her home was a mess and she really didn’t want him staying in it any longer than necessary. The longer he stuck around, the more question would arise.

“Do you need help unpacking?” he asked. He began moving toward the boxes and moved to open one.

“Don’t touch that!” she screamed. He flinched and retracted his hand. Shame settled into her stomach. “I’m sorry, just, please don’t touch those.”

“(Y/n),” he whispered. She hated the way his voice sounded so broken. Trying to quell the sobs rising in her throat, she backed into the doorway of the kitchen slowly.

“Please go, Youngkyun.”

He stood looking at the ground slightly defeated.

“Why don’t you let me help?” he asked quietly, “You’re my soulmate. I can take care of you; I can help. It hurts me to see you like this, you don’t understand.”

“No. You don’t understand. You are not my soulmate. I only have one soulmate and you are not him. You will never understand the pain I’m going through.”

His fists clenched and he grit his teeth before speaking again.

“You don’t think what I’m going through is painful? You’re not my first soulmate, (Y/n).”

She was going to retaliate but closed her mouth instead, letting him speak. He took a couple deep breaths and then moved to the couch, sinking into the cushions.

As he wiped his eyes, he rolled up his left pant leg to show a tattoo of the name of a girl (Y/n) didn’t know.

“We were classmates at the beginning of high school.” He swallowed and she inched closer to the couch. “I didn’t really talk to her all that much and then we got partnered on a project and she wrote her name out…” He paused. “Turns out she didn’t want a soulmate. She denied me as if I was just confessing my feelings. Like soulmates existed for absolutely nothing.

“I didn’t go to school for two weeks. It hurt so much. I hated the thought of being the only one at my school who had been rejected by their soulmate, so I just didn’t go.

“She told everyone while I was gone, too. Made a big deal about how she hated the idea of being stuck with anyone, with me.” He let out a shuddered breath and pulled his pant leg down, “I was pitied from then on. Yet, at the same time, everyone treated the whole incident as if I had something wrong with me as if it was my fault she didn’t want me.

“But I had another tattoo on my shoulder and I thought, ‘maybe the universe messed up the first time. Surely it was all a misunderstanding.’ And then I met you.

“I held off on saying anything because I wanted to make sure we got along and, honestly, I haven’t met someone I love being around so much in a while. Then you told me I wasn’t your soulmate.” He let out a disbelieving laugh as tears began to stream down his face.

(Y/n)’s throat tightened. She wanted to reach forward and comfort him but she knew that it would only make things worse.

He dried his eyes and then looked over at her.

“So, then, what has you so messed up?”

For a moment neither moved. The overcast skies outside didn’t really help the atmosphere and it was quiet, eerily quiet between the two.

With wobbly legs (Y/n) walked to her bedroom and opened up a desk drawer. Inside were hundreds of face down photos and she took one without looking at it. She then returned to the living room and sat on the couch, handing Youngkyun the photo while staring straight ahead.

“We used to live together in the next town over.”

He looked at the photo. It was one of (Y/n) and a man with dark hair who was way taller than her. Both of them had bright smiles on their faces as they looked into the camera. He could tell by the way that their hair was messed up that it must have been windy and if he hadn’t known any better, he would have thought the guy had his arm around her waist to keep her from flying away. Behind them was a slightly run-down house that he assumed was theirs.

“He worked in this hidden coffee shop that my friend loved. They had good coffee but she liked to ogle him more than anything else.

“She brought me along one day claiming I needed to get out of the house and promising to pay for my drink. I went along.” She let out a dry laugh.

“He wrote his name on my cup the first time we met. He said, ‘I knew we were soulmates the moment you walked in.’ In reality, though, he was surprised when it did match up.”

“What was his name?” Youngkyun asked after a moment.

“Kim Seokwoo.”

Her jaw clenched as she tried to stop her tears.

“So where is he now?” he asked tentatively. He felt that he already knew the answer.

She rolled up the sleeve of her right arm to reveal the name Kim Seokwoo written in small lettering in the crook of her elbow. The name had a line through it.

“You know what the worst part is?”

He shook his head, unwilling to give a verbal response.

“I was there.”

~

She laid curled up against his chest on the worn leather couch as the sun began to set. They had spent pretty much dawn to dusk in that position despite the endless things demanding their attention. They had started out watching movies for their lazy Saturday but eventually, it had just become a day where they snuggled up on the couch, barely talking, and simply enjoying each other’s presence.

These days didn’t really happen often since usually any free time went to running around on dates or doing all the mundane adult things like grocery shopping. And of course, that only happened in the small amount of time that overlapped when neither was working.

She curled her fingers into his shirt and sighed. He, in turn, pressed his lips to her forehead and then prompted her to get up so he could too.

“But I want to stay here,” she whined.

He laughed. “I have to start dinner.”

“We could just get takeout,” she said, nuzzling her face into his neck and wrapping her arms tighter around him.

“Then I have to get my phone.”

“Starving is also an option,” she mumbled.

He rolled his eyes and tried to get her to stand up again. When she refused he pulled her closer and then lifted her up.

“Stop!” She laughed and kicked her feet. “Put me down!”

“Okay,” he replied with a smirk before tossing her back onto the couch. She shrieked but continued to giggle.

“Pizza?” he asked as he picked up his phone from where it had been plugged in.

“Sounds good.”

He walked into the kitchen and (Y/n) was left alone for a moment. She looked around at their living room. Almost everything was unpacked and was insane to think they had been there for four months and not everything was out of the boxes. She reached for the remote and clicked the tv off. Since the lights weren’t on the only light that came in was through the windows.

The walls had photos cluttering them, as well as almost every other surface in the room. The two had a habit of taking pictures all the time, which then resulted in his insistence at printing out every photo he loved to put somewhere in the house.

“You’re going to hurt your eyes,” Seokwoo called from where he was standing by the light switch before flicking the lights on.

“Okay, mom.”

“I’m serious. You have to take better care of yourself.”

She waited until he sat down on the couch before responding. “But I have you to take care of me.” He pulled her close and they sat together as they waited for their food to arrive.

The doorbell rang twenty minutes later and he got up, with much protesting from her, and walked down the carpeted hallway to pay.

They spent the rest of the evening devouring the pizza and joking around. Only when the clock struck one am did the two head off to bed. Seokwoo went around turning off all the lights and then followed her into the bedroom. The two changed and did their nightly routines before climbing into bed.

Again (Y/n) curled up next to Seokwoo and they stayed like that until sleep washed over them like a wave.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

A crash a couple hours later caused (Y/n) to awake.

“I think someone’s in the house,” she whispered repeatedly, terror rising in her voice the more she spoke. She shook him by the shoulders trying to get him to wake. He rubbed his eyes as he sat up. Another crash caused him to jolt and now she could tell he was wide awake.

“Get in the bathroom,” he whispered, pulling her out of bed.

“What?” she said mildly alarmed. He didn’t say anything else as he pushed her into the connecting bathroom.

He started to shut the door behind her but she stopped him.

“What are you doing? Get in here.”

He shook his head. “I’m going to see if I can get them to leave.” He handed her his cellphone as he reached for one of the baseball bats by his duffle bag. “It’ll be okay. Just call the police and tell them to hurry.”

She started crying as he pushed her back into the bathroom. He closed the door gently, trying not to make a sound.

“Stay here. Lock the door. Don’t come out until I come back.”

(Y/n) curled up on the tile floor by the bathtub. Her breathing was ragged as the phone rang and rang. Just as she was giving the operator the address, a gunshot resounded through the house.

~

Youngkyun sat still. He didn’t know how to respond to anything he had just heard but he felt his whole body go numb. His hands felt clammy as he reached over to stroke (Y/n)’s back. She was hunched over trying to contain her sobs and he simply wrapped her up and pulled her closer. She curled her fingers into his shirt and he rocked her softly.

She calmed a little but didn’t let go.

“My therapist has been trying to get me to write letters to him but it’s so hard,” she choked out between her sniffles. “If I write it then I have to let him go.”

He pulled her closer trying to soothe her with touches but he figured nothing was going to work at this point.

“Is that what you’ve been trying to write all this time?” he asked softly.

She nodded, still not looking at him.

“I thought if I went to a coffee shop like where he worked then maybe it would help. And then you showed up and I felt bad because I was interacting with you while I should have been focusing on him. What’s worse was that I keep having this recurring thought that even if I did have your name tattooed on my body, I don’t think I can be with you anytime soon. Even when I was trying to write to him I was thinking of you and it made me feel guilty.”

He rubbed her back in circles and rested his chin on the crown of her head as she began to cry again.

“I wish I had your name, Youngkyun. But you know what I got instead?”

She pulled back and began to lift her shirt up. He blushed and tried to stop her. However, she kept going until a tattoo along the left side of her ribcage was visible.

“I had this fucking warning and I couldn’t do anything to prevent it,” she sobbed.

He couldn’t help but stare at the “Stay here. Lock the door. Don’t come out until I get back” written in white ink across her skin. He had never actually seen a tattoo of a soulmate’s last words before, only heard about how they changed color once everything was said and done, like how names were crossed out.

(Y/n) let her shirt drop and she curled back into Youngkyun. They sat in silence for a while as he tried to sort through everything she had just told him. Suddenly it felt as if the picture in his hand was scalding. He set it on the table beside the couch and took a deep breath.

“Why didn’t you show up today?” he asked after a while.

She slowly retracted herself from his arms and walked toward the kitchen. She never let go of his hand, so he quickly followed behind.

The kitchen seemed normal aside from the shattered mug on the floor. Her grip on his hand grew tighter as she looked at it.

“It was his?” Youngkyun asked although it came out more of a statement rather than a question.

“I knocked it off the counter this morning and at first I was upset because I had destroyed one of his possessions, but then I began thinking about how this was going to make me late. I hated myself for thinking of you instead of him.

“Then it felt like I was replacing him with you. That I had new things and all our old things were being chipped away slowly and I couldn’t go. It felt wrong.”

He didn’t reply.

She pulled him back to the couch and sat down.

“Do you feel better?” he questioned a moment later.

“A little,” she said with a sigh.

(Y/n) looked over at him.

“I’m sorry I put you through all that.”

He shook his head. “It’s okay.”

“I think it will be okay with time. Maybe then we can start over.”

Tilting his head to the side, Youngkyun watched her mull over things in her head then come to a conclusion in her head.

“Slowly. There’s no rush,” she said softly, “but you’ve stuck with me this far, so you must be a good guy.”

He couldn’t suppress the smile that rose on his lips.

...

A couple months later:

(Y/n) stepped out of the car, envelope in hand. She took small measured steps as she walked through the maze of tombstones that covered the graveyard. The girl found the one she was looking for toward the end of the row.

Kneeling down, she brushed away some of the leaves that had fallen on his plot and then took a took out some tissue from her purse to clean off some of the dirt on the headstone.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner,” she said quietly, “I had a lot on my mind and you left behind more than you’ll ever know. But I brought you something.”

She held the envelope out in between her middle and pointer finger before placing it on the grass in front of the stone.

“I think it covers everything, but I’m sorry if it doesn’t. It took a long time to write but I think I wrote it well.” She took a deep breath and stood up, brushing some of her hair out of her face.

“I promise to come to visit more often, especially now that I feel better, but you shouldn’t stick around. You probably have better places to be.”

(Y/n) sighed and said her goodbyes before walking out of the cemetery.

When she wasn’t far from the car she looked up to find Youngkyun leaning against the hood, waiting. He offered her a smile and then moved to open the passenger’s door for her. She thanked him as she sat down and he nodded, closing the door behind her. He went around to the other side and got in himself before starting the car up.

They backed out and began to drive home in silence. When the cemetery was out of sight (Y/n) gingerly reached over and grasped one of his hands in hers. He simply laced their fingers together in response.


End file.
